Welcome to Fae Cafe (High Court of the Coffee Bean) by Jennifer Kropf

There are ten golden rules if you want to survive an encounter with a fae:

1. Don’t ask their name.
2. If they ask you what your name is, lie.
3. Avoid looking directly into their eyes.
4. Don’t invite them to your book club.
5. Don’t instigate a snowball fight.
6. Never let them burn their mouth on coffee.
7. Don’t ask them where they’re from.
8. Don’t tell them where you live.
9. Never mention their queen.
10. Don’t try to kill them with an ordinary human gun.

If you fail to do any of these things, enslave them immediately.